Faithful Love

There is a tremendous story with a mass audience that carries great attention. It is a story of love, conspiracy and controversy. This couple began their relationship in friendship with it turning toward love and marriage. Everyone around this happy couple looked upon their relationship with eyes of admiration. How could it get any better? Until the rumors of infidelity began swirling. There was talk from both outside and inside the family. No one seemingly knew the truth. The couple had to face each other. And when the news came out it was an even greater conspiracy than one had first thought. In the days after the dramatic news, discussion ran rampant. It became the talk of the town and even in the city. In fact, hardly a day went by when it wasn’t discussed. Even the couple could not move away from the fact that this news would change their lives forever. Their future would never be the same. It would only be a matter of time before a fall out of their once closest friends and supporters. The couple tried their hardest to stay together. Would it be possible? Could they stay married and raise their family with even a hint of normalcy? Should they even try to make it work?

What would you do?

This story may be compared to national headlines of the Wood’s family. Tiger and Elin were married in October 2004 and apparently the past 5 years have been filled with an insurmountable amount of unfaithfulness. The latest news is that Tiger and Elin are separated and Elin will certainly file for divorce. Not to mention that Tiger has lost millions in endorsements and supporters and fan respect.

It is an extremely sad and sober reality for us all as it reminds us of several truths about life and love.

1)     Marriage is the most sacred relationship and it can never be taken for granted.
In 21^st Century marriage has come under great attack. It is demeaned and devalued among media and society. Yet, those who are married know the profound mystery and importance of this relationship because it becomes part of their identity. Once you are married you will never escape the physical, emotional, psychological and even financial impact it has upon your life. Therefore, its value should be heightened and honored, especially as it points to God as the creator of relationships.

2)     Sin never stays secret.
Tiger thought his female escapades apart from his wife would stay hidden from her. He was disastrously wrong. Tiger and these female friends are now hunted by every media outlet across the globe. Every disgusting detail is being splattered across the internet. I heard tabloids are offering upwards of 300k for a picture of Tiger.

3)     Sin’s consequences are never isolated to just yourself.

Tiger’s faults and sin may ultimately result in the loss of his wife. However, the greatest loss is with his children. Rather than growing up in the home with an intact family with a father and mother, they will now be another statistic of a broken home. How will this turn out for Sam and Charlie is yet to be determined. We can only pray for protection from the emotional scars that they will deal with in their future. We also should pray for the gospel of Jesus’ message of reconciliation to take root in their family.

Why do I address this story of national attention? Because there is a greater story that carries greater attention and consequence that impacts us all. Tiger Woods’ indiscretions and family separation will have no direct impact on your life. However, the faithfulness of a husband and wife to remain together along with the birth of their son bears significant influence of how you live your life. This is the story of Joseph and Mary. Similarly it had conspiracies of infidelity surrounding their marriage. Yet, one contrast is glaringly different – the fingerprints of God’s faithfulness are all over this story. Rather than infidelity there was the incarnation of a virgin born child. Rather than misgivings of a man there was the miracle of the Messiah. Rather than separation of a family there is now today salvation by faith!

This message will explore how faithful love from and in God guides our life.

Faithful Love in God’s unwavering promises (1:18).

Matthew opens his Gospel writing with a long genealogy (vv.1-17). He does this to legitimize Jesus’ messiahship comes from the line of David and Abraham, legally from Mary through Joseph (Luke’s Gospel does the same in human form through Joseph). Even greater than that is that Jesus is presented as the fulfillment of God’s promise to send Israel’s redeemer and messiah. Jesus has the title “Christ” – Anointed One in verse 1 and 18.

Every page of the OT points to the coming Messiah. More specifically, there are direct prophecies and promises made by God through the prophets.

Isaiah 7:14 promised “Therefore, the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”
[This was 600 years before Jesus was born]

Micah 5:2 promised “You, O Bethlehem, though you are little among thousands of Judah, Yet out of you shall come forth to Me the One to be Ruler in Israel, whose goings forth are from of old, from everlasting.” [Again, 100’s of years before Jesus was born in Bethlehem]

There are over 300 hundred prophecies concerning Jesus and many of them have turned true, with only few remaining for the future. One mathematician determined the odds of one person fulfilling even 60 specific prophecies are 1 in 1 plus 157 zeros. Or as marking one silver dollar with the entire state of Texas covered in silver dollars knee high and you being able to pick out that single one with one try. It’s essentially impossible yet Jesus fits and fulfills each one.

The point is that God expresses His love to you in being a promise keeper. He is faithful. You can trust and depend on Him.

Galatians 4:4, 5, 7 “But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive the full rights of sons… So you are no longer a slave but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”

2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Faithful Love in God’s uninterrupted plan (1:19-23).

When Joseph discovered Mary was pregnant he had to come to a point of decision. His plan seemed limited to two options – leave her quietly or bring the news public and have her held accountable for corporal punishment which was death (Lev 20:10). Joseph did not want to bring public shame on Mary so his plan was to divorce her quietly. However, man’s plans are not God’s plans. God spoke to Joseph and Mary though an angelic vision. The plan was for Joseph and Mary to get married and give birth to the child, giving him the name Jesus. Joseph obeyed the plan.

Life is filled with decisions and plans. And sometimes those plans get interrupted. Money runs out or gets tight, an employer downsizes, the doctor gives a terminal report, parents have different expectations for teen plans… etc. You can count on the fact that your plans will not always go according to plan. Everything will not always be easy or smooth.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

If there is one thing you can count on in life it’s uncertainty. Our knowledge is limited, our resources are fleeting and our lives are finite. Yet God’s promises are unwavering and His plans are uninterrupted. He wants us to view life from His eyes and that’s what He did for Joseph. He allowed Joseph to see his decisions from an eternal perspective. He showed him that his purpose was not for self comfort but for the greater glory of God.

So, the next time your life plans get interrupted remember to seek the Lord. You just never know what miracle adventure awaits you.

Faithful Love in God’s unblemished purity (1:24-25).

A third and last way we see God’s faithful love is through unblemished purity. As discussed, Joseph was a righteous man who sought to honor God and he obeyed God’s plan to marry her and bring Jesus into the world. Even more, Joseph remained faithful in keeping their virginity until after their marriage and pregnancy. Jesus was born to parents who valued godly standards.

You can also note the purity of Jesus since he did not have a human father he was not tainted with a sin nature. Because he was born of a virgin that means he is uniquely pure and holy. He is able to be a pure sacrifice for our sin.

There is nothing greater to validate love for someone than to remain faithful through unblemished purity. That means you seek to honor them through your lifestyle. Jesus did that for us on the cross. We do not have unblemished purity because we have sin natures. Yet God wants us to see His faithful love for us in His perfect sacrifice.

The Christmas season is a reminder that Jesus came for a reason –

Matthew 1:21 “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus [The Lord saves], because he will save his people from their sins.”

Tiger Woods is being hunted not only by media columnist but also his own conscience. He will now live with the guilt, shame and regret of his sin. The Bible says your sin will always catch up with you (Num 32:23; Prov 28:13; Rom 1:32; 1 Cor 5:6, 6:18; Gal 6:7—8). Tiger’s greatest need is more than a publicity change, he needs a heart change that can only come through faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ (Isa 1:18; Ez 36:26; Jn 3:5; Ac 2:38).

If you pass through Christmas without understanding this then you have missed everything!

Christmas Re-Routes

This past Sunday many churches were supposed to have worship services celebrating the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. Some did, personally we were unable. Though we did do so at home. We watched one of our favorite communicators, Ed Young on the television. Beyond worship service cancellations there have been many other cancelled activities and change of plans. Even NFL football had to adjust the times of some of their games. Much of the east coast has been RE-ROUTED.

This reminds me of the inaugural Christmas with Joseph and Mary. During their expected pregnancy the government called for a census leading many to change their plans and re-route toward home. Joseph and Mary had a more difficult time finding “home” probably because of their controversial pregnancy. Unfortunately, family tends to stay away when there is trouble or trial. Yet, it was all in God’s plan because their re-route fulfilled prophecy and paved the way for our humble, Servant King. Even greater, the birth of Jesus allows for you and I to re-route. Because Jesus came into the world we are able to believe in Him and have forgiveness of sin. The Bible calls our re-route, “repentance”. Indeed repentance is complicated, much more than the re-route of our schedules. Nonetheless, it is what is required for our desired destination; that of being fully satisfied in life, freed from the bondage of guilt and regret from sin, and experiencing the rich hope and love of relationships which can only come through Jesus Christ. Beyond this, everyone thinks they are going to heaven but only those who “re-route” are!

“He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:11-12)

The re-route may cause some conflict and trouble but God promises to comfort in the midst of any challenge. Jesus is calling you to re-route and believe this Christmas season. How will you respond?

Body Life

E.M. Bounds said of the church, “We are constantly on a stretch, if not a strain, to devise new methods, new plans, new organizations to advance the church and secure enlargement and efficiency for the gospel… The church is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men [and women]… What the church needs today is not more machinery or better, not new organizations or more and novel methods, but men whom the Holy Spirit can use – [people] of prayer, mighty in prayer.”[1]

In other words, the church is called to be both relational and relevant; relational, warm and caring towards God and each other; and relevant in living out the gospel of love, grace, forgiveness and transforming power. In a sense, this is what “body life” is all about. God’s people returning to God’s plan for His church.

As a young and new lead pastor at SPBC I realize that I do not have the wisdom or skill set to grow a church. I am inadequate in many ways. Yet, God is not. That is why I want (and for our church) to continue to grow in learning to pray, calling on God to condescend and lead us in each step we take for Him. Prayer is God’s means to accomplish His work and we cannot do any greater work than prayer. Indeed, our only hope is in God.

After the Christmas season, we will begin a new series on “Body Life” and what that means for us as a church. I pray you will be a part of our journey together.

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[1] Power Through Prayer, pp.11-12.

new beginnings

Severna Park Baptist Church, ready or not we are begining a journey together. I am anticipating God to do above and beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us – that He alone will get the glory and recognition (Eph 3:20). Please pray for wisdom for me. Most of all, that God will continue to give me a passion for His heart and a pure heart, knowing that integrity and faithfulness is the calling for His vessels.

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers (1 Tim 4:12-16).

 

Join The Movement

MOTIVATE
Trip to Iowa included a flight stop outside New York. In the harbors were anchored these huge ocean liners…

Queen Mary was an ocean liner that sailed the Atlantic Ocean during 1936 – 1967. She was designed to be a high-end transportation express ship, appealing to wealthy travelers crossing between Europe to America. It could accommodate 3000 guests (larger than the Titanic) with all the luxurious amenities on board.

The liner featured an indoor swimming pool, salon, ship’s library, children’s nursery, outdoor paddle tennis court, and ship’s kennel. The largest room was the first-class dining room (grand salon), which spanned three stories in height and was anchored by wide columns. The indoor swimming pool facility also spanned over two decks in height. An alternate to the indoor dining room is an exclusive restaurant outdoor Verandah Grill on the sun deck that held up to 80 passengers and was converted to the Starlight Club at nighttime.

In 1940, during a return trip to New York the ship was ordered to stay in port due to the international situation of its day – WWII. It was turned from a ship transporting travelers to troops. The hull and superstructure was painted drab navy grey, inside luxury staterooms were replaced with triple tier wooden bunk beds with ability to accommodate 15,000 troops, six miles of carpet and 220 cases of china, crystal and art tapestries were exchanged for war time supplies. The ship received the nickname “The Grey Ghost” because of its elusiveness and ability to outrun enemy pursuits. Rather than being a ship of momentary comfort it was transformed to a ship of missional calling.

Unfortunately, the church today often looks like the Queen Mary comfort ship rather than of missional calling. Christians have retreated from the world and lined their church buildings with environments and programs in which they never have any contact with the warzone of the world. There is a great need for churches to evaluate its purpose and make necessary changes in effort to engage the culture with the gospel. To do so will call for the church to return to its earliest beginnings found in the book of Acts.

EXAMINE
Below are some characteristics I found from Acts 13:1-3 that begin missionary movements and are reflective of healthy churches. I hope you will consider these in the days ahead for ministry as you advance the gospel.

One author says this, “The Acts has so much to say to our half-hearted and cold blooded Christianity in the western world. It rebukes our preoccupation with buildings and ministerial pedigree, our syncretism and pluralism, our lack of expectancy and vibrant faith. As such it is a book supremely relevant for our time.”[1]

1. There was foundational discipleship.  As the early Jesus followers met they sought to be obedient to Jesus’ Great Commission to “make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded”.  Christian’s were then witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and on outward (Acts 1:8).

Antioch became a home base outside the Jewish world for Christianity, being the first place believers were called Christians (11:26). The church at Antioch was a refuge to persecuted Christians (11:19). It was also a place of faith instruction for new believers, like Saul/Paul (11:26). All of this arose from the congregation as a whole, not hired staff doing the work of ministry. Antioch was a healthy, stable foundation from which effective ministry could be established and advanced.

2. There was shared leadership. At the very least there were 5 leaders who were said to be prophets and teachers. These men were recognized with specific giftings that aided the church to fulfill its mission and vision. The leadership was shared and diverse, representative of the larger Church. Barnabas was from Cyprus, Simeon probably from African regions, Lucius from Cyrene, Manaen was upper class related to the Herods, and Saul from Tarsus. They had varied backgrounds yet God blended them together to accomplish his world-wide mission.

The art of leadership is both delegating and developing others. This means empowering others to assist in meaningful ways of service. True delegation is not dumping; it’s developing and deploying others into the mission.

For leaders to assume they can accomplish their tasks alone is to take on the role of God. Put simply, this is a pride issue. When leaders operate in isolation without meaningfully involving and developing others there is sure to be some hidden issues of pride or arrogance. Leaders must come to grips that they can do more with others than alone. In fact, people are more affirming and respectful of leaders who develop than leaders who remain independent. When leaders are not developing and employing people to serve the vision then people will become dissatisfied and feel devalued. This is why many teams have track records of few volunteers and low participation. Leaders must learn to define, develop and deploy other leaders.

2 Timothy 2:2 “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.”

What & Who will be left when you leave?

Michael Green says of shared leadership “[It] preserves the church from imbalance and from undue dependence on one individual leader from megalomania and from burn out. It was a very wise arrangement. But in many modern churches it simply does not happen. There is usually one person who is the pastor, and all too often the congregation’s attitude is something like this: ‘You are the expert. We have hired you. We expect you to get on with it, with a little help from us.’ And from that fundamental flaw flows loneliness in ministry, polarization between pastor and people, exhaustion, blinkered vision, and an unsatisfactory situation where the pastor is glad to have a stage to play on and the people are glad to let him, because they can criticize him in peace, and can be spared the inconvenience of undue commitment.”[2]

3. There was authentic worship. Vital to the church’s mission was corporate worship. Noted elements in this atmosphere for worship included fasting, suggesting intense focus on God for specific purposes, and prayer which was reciprocal communication as the Holy Spirit spoke to the church. Thirdly, their worship was faith responsive as they acted on the Spirit’s leading, commissioning individuals to service. Antioch gave two of their best leaders for the cause of missions, no less! In all, worship has a broad meaning in the OT & NT but it is interesting to note these three specific elements.

4. There was evangelistic fervor. Antioch was hub for sending missionaries into regions where the gospel was vacant. This church took Jesus’ command to disciple the nations seriously and at all costs (Matthew 28:18-20; Acts 1:8). Their strategy is important as they started with those who they considered receptive to their message, in Jewish synagogues. However, they also engaged people and places that were hostile to the gospel. Their evangelistic zeal shows how God uses obedience and availability over talent and personality (consider the fact that Saul was once a persecutor of Christians!).

 Acts 8:4 “So those who were scattered [persecuted] went away chattering the message of the good news”

5. There was mutual ministry. As the early church heard from God, responded to His Spirit to spread the gospel they did so by recognizing Barnabas and Saul as missionaries. Before they sent them out they fasted, prayed and placed their hands on them. The placing of hands on them was an act of dedication but also a sign of care and concern for their physical and spiritual well-being. Love and support for these believers was shown through their unity and prayer with one another (see how Paul ends each of his letters with personal care of individuals and requests for prayer). Even more, the believers at Antioch showed Christian compassion and generosity to those in need by providing famine relief to Jerusalem, hundreds of miles away (11:29), and spreading the gospel through sending missionaries (13:1-3).

Mutual ministry and care for others goes beyond a couple hours on a Sunday. It’s more than a class or curriculum but requires a culture of Christians to do life together. This is living out the “one another” passages. It is helping, praying, caring, sharing, serving, rejoicing, mourning and loving others.

Almost each week on Sundays AM/PM & Wednesdays I am typically the last one to leave the church. One of the reasons why is because I love seeing people hang around talking and sharing their lives. This is what the Bible calls Christians fellowship – koinonia.

The Church should be a place where you belong. The reason why is because Jesus Christ died for sinners – all people. There is no one for whom Christ did not die in the goal of you coming to faith and salvation.

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Will you believe and belong?

APPLY/THINK

- How does today’s church more look like a ship of momentary comfort than of missional calling? Do you understand the difference?

- What is the difference between a convert and a disciple?

- Define what “church” is. What does it mean to be a member of a church body?

- What opportunities for foundation discipleship have you found most helpful?

- According to Ephesians 4:11-13, what is the role of pastors and the body?

- How do you define worship? Is it limited to an event or do you see the larger picture of a lifestyle?

- Is evangelism always comfortable? What will it take to reach our community and world with the gospel?

- How do you know a church is unified and has mutual ministry?
(cf John 13:34-35, 17:20-23)

- Look up some of the “one another” Scripture passages. Seek to practice at least one of these each week.

 

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[1] Michael Green, Thirty Years That Changed The World, p.5.

[2] Ibid., p. 211.

Thankful Partnership

“I give thanks to my God for every remembrance of you, always praying with joy for all of you in my every prayer, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:3-6

I noticed something in this passage this past week. Paul was not present with the Philippians yet he considered them “partners”. The reason he considered them partners was because of their united purpose to spread the gospel. I believe the principle for us to understand is that partnership is not based on proximity but on purpose. Therefore, I can partner with someone in spreading the gospel yet may never meet them this side of eternity. This is a cooperative effort that is needed to reach our communities and the nations.

This coming Sunday I will be speaking of joining the movement for churches to advance the gospel. I am thankful for gospel partnerships God has placed in my life that I do not have to hold on to only a moment for God but living in a movement with God.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving week.

Step by Step

Dear Southern Calvert Baptist Church,

The 2009 year has gone quickly; can you believe we are entering a new decade with 2010 right around the corner? Personally, I find it exciting to enter each year with high anticipation for making a greater impact in the next year than the previous years. Life and ministry are filled with multiple opportunities to see God at work and have the privilege of joining Him in leaving an eternal legacy.

As many of you know, God has given me a passion to see local church ministries work together to encourage and strengthen families in effort to grow godly generations. In fact, this phrase “growing godly generations” has become so vivid in my heart that I believe it has turned into a ministry calling for the rest of my life. In all, I am still learning exactly what this means with the plans God has for my life and family. I do not have all the answers. God has a way of guiding us ‘step by step’ rather than unfolding all the details at once. This is what it means to live by faith. Supremely, we are learning that growing godly generations does not happen without intentionality.

Over the past couple months God has opened a door for us to become more intentional about this passion. We have slowly walked through this step by step process and some of you have prayed with us over the last couple weeks to confirm God’s calling. We believe the time has come for us to share the summary of this process with the rest of the church body.

As of Sunday, November 15 God has called me to become the lead pastor of Severna Park Baptist Church, Maryland. Our family has been blessed much more than we deserve with an abundance of friendships, multiple memories of ministry experiences, seeing the lives of many transformed by the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ and so much more at Southern Calvert! Once again, our family is humbled in that God is leading us to a new church family that is also loving and just as eager to see a movement of God. More specifically, Severna Park Baptist Church has a desire to share our vision of discovering what it means to grow godly generations through an intentional ministry process. This faith journey will begin on Sunday December 13, 2009 with our last Sunday at Southern Calvert being the week before.

As we leave, it is good for you to know that there has not been any negative action or personality conflict between us or any other member of Southern Calvert. Pastor Steve was very gracious with me and giving me time to complete this process. Even more, God has been very good to us and we have enjoyed our ministry together over the past four and a half years. Sometimes, God simply leads us to shift and refocus His Church in ways that are beyond our fullest comprehension. It is His church and we are only His servants.

Above all, our family cannot thank you enough for your friendship, love and generosity. You will always have a place in our hearts and lives. And I mean that with all sincerity and even tears of joy as I write this letter. God has great plans ahead for each of us and I pray that we will be found faithful to leave a legacy of spiritual impact for the kingdom of God.

With much love and for the glory of God,

Pastor Dave and Family

“help me not wanna”

I have two crazy cute daughters and a wonderful wife. This morning I was helping Alethia put on her shoes. She’s two years old and likes to be a little independent at times. Danielle, my wife, asked her to put on one pair of shoes yet Alethia wanted a different pair. Danielle told her to ask her Daddy. Her way of asking was this, “Daddy, can you help me not wanna put on those other shoes?” Alethia wanted me to change her heart desire for a shoe preference. The reality was that I could not no matter if I wanted. Parenting may have its days but at least it is entertaining!

There are times when we ask God the same question. “God, help me not want to __________ or help me to do __________”. You know what goes in those blanks much better than I could guess. My question is how does God change our “wanna’s”? Do we really expect we can pray a prayer and assume God will wave His hand and our desires will instantly change from evil to good? I do not believe it is this easy or simple.

The psalmist knew the demand of his desires along with the device of change. “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9-11). Certainly the psalmist prayed for God to not let him stray from obedience but his strategy did not end there. Too often Christians pray that prayer then if they sin they think to themself that God didn’t answer their prayer or that He must not have wanted them to obey or even worse, they assume and take for granted that God will forgive them no matter what. All of these thoughts are foolish and fail to understand God and the psalmists approach. After the psalmist prayed that he declared, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against you.” In other words, his device for God to change his desires was not simply in a half-hearted prayer but in the grind of memorizing and meditating on the words of God. His desires changed because he spent time learning to love the things God loves and hating the things God hates.

So, the next time you pray “help me not wanna __________”; don’t forget to spend some time digesting God’s Word into your life.

A Spiritual Battle

For those of you who do not believe prayer works or that there isn’t a battle being waged then check this video out. The most unsafe place in America is in a woman’s womb. Dare the people of God get serious about prayer for the unborn, loving women and caring for their needs and hurts? I pray for more of this and glad to see new sites like this to make the case for life. May our hearts weep to God and may He hear the sincerity of our prayers over this issue.

What if I’m not a HGG

Growing up with my sister was an interesting time. As a young boy I was involved with the typical activities and items of every boy – matchbox cars, G.I. Joe men, Atari on a black & white television set, and of course there were lots of sports and games. I loved to be outside playing football, baseball, basketball, kickball or any other game that involved lots of competition. My sister on the other hand liked typical things of girlhood – dolls, books, kitchen set to play cook food and various other things. However, there was one aspect that became ironic between the two of us as a boy and a girl. I liked to be clean and avoid messiness and she liked to sit outside on the ground and eat dirt, literally! Gross-ossa!

Many people do not enjoy being messy. They appreciate things to be organized and in their proper place (and dirt’s proper place is not in the mouth!). Whereas others thrive on spontaneity and disorder and life would not be any fun if there were not stained boxers and socks lining the hallway to direct a path to the bedroom J. Of course this is a bit of a sarcastic introduction to say that people and relationships are always a work in progress because relationships are filled with the lives of a sin-tainted world. Every person struggles with the reality of conflict, heartbreak, emotional scars and issues of forgiveness.

The issue for young people is how to be the right person while you are searching for the right person. Dating, courting, going out, girl and boy friends – whatever name it is given it is still a major issue among teens and singles. The problem comes when the chase becomes more important than character. To state it an old-fashion way, “you can’t put the cart before the horse”. Young people must focus on their own heart and identity to become a healthy, whole person – I call this becoming a HGG: Hot Godly Guy/Girl.

What if I’m not a HGG? Proverbs 4:23; 1 Kings 10:23 – 11:13

Solomon was a man who had it all. He had wealth, fame, fortune, the pleasures of entertainment and relationships yet when reflecting on his life he viewed it all as “…meaningless, Even more, for a time, Solomon had the hand of God’s favor in his life. It was in his heart to be a HGG, that was his father’s wishes as well as his personal intention. However, becoming a HGG is more than just wishes and intentions. It occurs through deliberate and specific choices at every layer of life. Solomon found this out very well through the challenge of character.

The reason Solomon struggled to be a HGG is found in something he wrote: Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else [with all diligence], guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

He discovered that life has multiple distractions and if we allow them, they will take over your life. The Bible passage 1 Kings 10:23 – 11:13 describes Solomon’s slippery slide of faith and integrity. The primary reason for his slide was relationships with the opposite gender. Solomon loved many foreign (idolatrous) women who turned his heart away from the one true God. He failed to guard his heart.

It is easy to get distracted from life’s purpose and goals and ultimately from God. The Bible calls us to guard our heart and lives diligently from being distracted or diverted away from the main focus of your faith in Jesus. An overview of these Scriptures are as follows: “have no other gods before me” (Ex 20:3), “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deut 6:5), “choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Josh 24:15), “if my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land” (2 Chron 7:14), “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness…” (Matt 6:33), “count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Rom 6:11), “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal 2:20), “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Php 1:21), “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death” (Php 3:10), “all things were created by him and for him” (Col 1:16b), “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:1-3), “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 1:8),

In summary, God calls us to seek Him and make Him first priority of our lives. In doing so we are becoming what I call a HGG. But what if you are like Solomon? What if you have slipped from being a HGG? By responding to these 2 questions you will be able to consider if you are becoming a HGG?

1)  What is your standard for “Hot”? Many people would assume to be a HGG that you have to follow the same standards of appearance as the world. This is not necessarily so. Though looks and appearance are important in relationships and self-image they are not primary. One’s “hotness” is truly defined by Scripture not your shape; your faith and not your figure. In other words, your character overrules your image.

2) Who has your heart? This question often leads you to think relationally with the notion of love and romance. However, it’s really a question of authority in your life. Who is the biggest influence in your life? The answer to this question reveals what is most important to you and what your god is.

Your heart should not be solely accessible by a key pad or internet connection. Solomon reminds us to guard our hearts with all diligence because it will determine the course and direction of your life. This includes not just who you are and where you go but how you feel about life and self. It’s physical, spiritual, emotional – it’s everything!

God wants your heart that you might not chase after fleeting romance but the eternal God, Jesus Christ. “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs” (Jonah 2:8).